How can one find, or even draw the line between being supportive to your borderline and being able to hold them accountable. I know as one myself, I do not take criticism very well, I feel attacked when criticized. I imagine holding us accountable is quite challenging. Some gentle ideas to help you navigate this tricky situation are:

The best place to begin is for you to start to educate yourself about your partner's symptoms and the best treatment options. It is important to understand BPD, so you are able to recognize the difference between an intentional behavior and a behavior caused and controlled by the disorder. And that's the first step in holding them accountable - knowing if it's their intent or their illness.

The next most important step is to set very clear and very consistent boundaries. Make sure your partner knows exactly what you expect and the consequences if you don't. You must balance their consequence while maintaining empathy and understanding. The most important part of boundaries is your ability to be consistent in enforcing these boundaries. Try to keep your focus on their behavior, not them as a person. Don't attack the person, only address their behavior. Express how you feel and your concerns with out any blaming. Encourage self-reflection, help them recognize any patterns and triggers for their behavior. They need to be able to take ownership of their actions. Never stop supporting treatment, there may always be a need. It can be therapy, or medication or even both.

Where do you draw the line? You start by prioritizing your safety. If your partner's Behavior poses a risk to themselves or others, don't take chances, get help right away. Is the behavior typical of them or a result of BPD symptoms intensifying? Identify patterns and what's causing them. This is not a time for the silent treatment. What they are crying out for is reassurance, that you might be upset, but it's going to be all right. The silent treatment is the opposite. It makes us very anxious even worse. Be open and remain honest. You're going to need to clearly express your concerns and your expectations. Don't forget about yourself. Caring for someone with BPD can be very draining- seek support for your own well-being.